


Martyr

by dopeysolo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Dean Being an Asshole, Dean being a dick, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gunshot Wounds, Head Injury, Lots of dumbass decisions, Memory Loss, Protective Castiel, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-07 22:25:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7732051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dopeysolo/pseuds/dopeysolo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader hunts with the Winchesters. They find themselves in an interesting predicament. Reader steps up to the plate and the Winchesters have to deal with the consequences. </p><p>'Will they/Won't they' plot line comes into play with the whole friends to lovers theme with some complications.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings etc.. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators amor producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Choice

The two boys struggled against the restraints. The ropes were ripping their skin off. Dean and Sam kept on trying and trying. Every one knew it was only a matter of time until something worse happened…

Every one thought it was a typical hunt but you definitely weren’t counting on encountering an actual clever demon, one that planned ahead, researched the Winchesters and their “pet” as he affectionately called you. He knew you were coming and planned ahead. From the moment you stepped into the warehouse, you all were being watched, each one had a demon on their tail and before you knew it every one was surrounded. The warehouse was protected so all the desperate prayers to Cas were unfounded. The demon in charge just circled the three of you with the most obnoxious smirk, you wanted desperately to wipe it off his face but you had to stay calm, knowing the three of you were severely outnumbered. 

The three of you stood back to back, trying to figure a way out of the situation, the way you figured it was 4:1 ratio, and who knows what else this demon had in store. You followed the boy’s lead, if they jump into action, you would too but by the looks of it, they weren’t moving. The demon stopped in front of Dean and showed his crooked gross teeth, “So, you’re Dean Winchester? You don’t seem too bad. Hell, I caught you guys pretty fucking easily.” 

Dean didn’t say a word. The demon took a step closer, “No words, Dean-o? Well, I think we can help you find your words. The way I see it, I can’t harm you considering my boss has a soft spot for his former knight of hell but I can mess with your pet and brother”. Dean instinctively stepped closer to you. The demon smiled at his actions, “I see we have a soft spot for the pretty one. But what about your precious Sammy?” Dean eyes immediately went to Sam but stayed close to you, Sam gave him a reassured look and Dean took your hand pulling you closer. 

“Hmmm, interesting. I thought for sure, you would go to protect your brother but maybe I missed something going on between this pretty little thing and you?” The demon looked at you. He walked in front of you and both boys immediately went to your side. “Well, well, it looks like both Winchester have a soft spot for you darling. I guess you’re the lucky winner” He pointed at you and smiled. You looked at Dean confused because nothing seemed to happen. The demon laughed at everyone’s confusion as he said; “Now if you boys would be so kind to have a seat, I can get to the main event”. None of you moved, the demon rolled his eyes at your blatant disrespect, “I promise to play fair, if you would just have a seat” and he motioned to your body. You glanced down and immediately looked up at Dean. He and Sam’s eyes went wide as they noticed the little red dot on your shirt, Dean stood in front of you, but the demon just laughed at his actions. “You really are the brave one. Sacrificing yourself for your family. It’s an admirable quality although a dumb one. I already told you, I couldn’t physically harm you but…full disclosure I do intend to mess with you. Now sit down, or your precious y/n insides will be all over the floor.” 

Not saying a word, Dean and Sam sat down; they were immediately bound to the chair. The demon approached you, looked you up and down sending shivers down your spine, you looked back at him, trying not to show how afraid you really were, he smiled showing off his disgusting teeth and he put his hand on your shoulder. 

Dean shouted, “Get your hands off of her!” His actions seem to entice the demon more. He smiled as he said, “Seems our boy found his words” as He put both hands on your shoulders; one hand began to slowly go down your arm while the other hand slowly went up your neck. You remained perfectly still, unsure of what he was planning but your heartbeat felt like it was beating out of your chest. You heard both boys struggling to get free. The demon looked at you and said, “I can see the appeal of you. Your outer appearance is lovely, but it’s your inner strength that I find most appealing. It’s a shame I have to ruin that.” With that being said, and before you even knew what was happening, the demon threw you across the room. Dean and Sam both yelled but the demon seemed to enjoy it, so he continued to toss you around like a rag doll. Everything hurt, you knew you were bleeding and most likely broke a few bones. He finally stopped and tossed you right by Dean’s chair. Dean quickly looked down at you and whispered your name. “y/n? Please, y/n, please.” You stirred at his voice but didn’t have the energy to do anything more. Dean was thankful that you were able to move but he knew you guys needed to get out of this fast. 

Dean looked up at the demon and basically growled, “What do you want?” The demon smirked, “Want? I want to mess with my king’s favorite toy. Every one knows Crowley has, shall we say, a love, hate relationship with the Winchesters especially with you Dean-o. So, like I said I can’t physically harm you but I can certainly mess with you.” The demon clapped his hands and you flinched causing Dean to look down at you. He saw you begin to move but with each movement you winced. He clenched his teeth, glared back at the demon as the demon began his rant; “Now as I promised, its time for the main event, I’ll make a real simple, you get to pick who lives and dies” Dean glared at the demon as the demon took a step towards, bent down to face Dean and whispered, “Now choose, y/n or Sam?” 

Dean leaned toward the demon, and sternly said, “no” as he spit in the demons face. The demon stood up, wiped his face and laughed, “I knew you would say that, so here is my deal, either you pick or I pick but I’ll let you in on a secret, I’m going to pick both.” He snickered as he backed away from the three of you, “Now if you would be so kind and look at your dear brother and y/n.” Dean glanced over to see red dots on both his brother and you.

Dean started to struggled again, and Sam looked at Dean as he said, “Dean, it’ll be ok, just say me” The demon applauded Sam’s bravery, “Winchesters, always willing to die for their family. Like I said, such a dumb admirable quality. I usually hate guns, such primitive weapons but I feel like there is certain poetic justice here. Using your weapons to kill someone you love.” 

Dean and Sam began to struggle against their restraints more. The demon began his countdown, “10, 9, 8, 7, 6…” Dean and Sam were frantically trying everything that they didn’t notice you struggling to stand. The demon saw you and began to watch with intrigue, Sam was the first to notice you and he began to shout, “No y/n, no, not you, Dean, tell her to stand down. Dean! Tell her” You slowly stood, your arm wrapped around your bleeding side, you stood as tall as your frail body would allow you. Dean silently looked at you; his green eyes were filled with fear and admiration. 

You managed to look at Sam and then Dean and simply smile. Both boys fell silent, the demon looked at you as he said, “So, Dean is this your choice?” Dean couldn’t say the words but he simply nodded his head ‘yes’. The red dots were off Sam and on you. The demon came over to you, “Such a waste, maybe if you’re lucky enough in life to come back, you’ll choose better friends”. He waived his hands, the bullet hit you and you fell down, all was quiet, you saw movement but felt nothing. A white light encompassed your body and your eyes closed leaving the Winchester panic-stricken.


	2. The Cost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened after the Reader sacrifices herself?

The demon’s joy quickly disappeared when he saw the source of the blinding light. He blinked quickly, putting his eyes up to shield the light, and when his eyes adjusted, he saw two very large, pissed off Winchesters standing. 

The demon started to step backwards as he said, “boys, boys, now calm down. I was just having a little fun”. He kept moving until he hit something hard. Turning around, he was faced with an angry angel. Cas gripped his shoulder as Dean and Sam stepped forward. The Winchester glared at the demon. Practically growling, Dean leaned forward, “I guess now is time for the main event”. Dean punched the demon so hard, he flew backward, the demon continued to scramble backwards. Sam and Dean took a few steps forward. Sam looked at Cas and motioned to your lifeless body. Cas quickly went to your side as the Winchesters approached the demon. 

The demon quickly looked around, seeing all his backup defeated, glanced up at the boys, “Well, that was unexpected” and before they could do anything, black smoke quickly dispersed and his meat suit fell down dead.

“Son of a Bitch” Dean yelled but Sam quickly put his hands on his shoulder and assured his brother that they would get him. Sam quickly turned around and ran to your side. Dean could hear Sam and Cas talking but he couldn’t bring himself to look at you. “I saw the bullet hit her head, I saw her fall down, there was so much blood and it was my fault” he was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t hear his brother yelling his name. “Dean, Dean! Come over here. She has a pulse” Sam yelled and yelled eventually grabbing his brother and pulling Dean out of his miserable thoughts. “Dean, did you hear me? She has a pulse! 

Cas was able to heal the bullet wound but she is still pretty messed up”. Dean blinked at Sam, trying his hardest to fully comprehend what Sam was saying. Dean ran to your side and grabbed your wrist, trying desperately to find your pulse, when he felt it; he breathed a sigh of relief. Cas looked at the Winchesters as he said, “Her pulse is very weak from the loss of blood but I was able to heal the bullet wound. I am sorry I can’t do more right now but y/n was nearly dead when I found her. I will visit often to check on her. Right now I do believe she needs rest.” Dean mindlessly nodded as he continued to hold your unconscious body. Cas pulled Sam aside, “the bullet hit her head, I was able to heal physical damage but I am unsure of any mental damage it may have caused. I used a lot of power to heal her. Be prepared that the y/n that wakes up, might not be the y/n that you both love so dearly.” Sam silently nodded. 

Dean carried you back to the impala, placing you gently on the backseat as he climbed in with you, he then did something shocking and tossed the keys to Sam. A confused Sam took the keys and quickly drove back to the motel. He kept glancing back to see Dean holding you and whispering in your ear. Sam realizing for the first time, that maybe the demon was right and that there was something going on between the two of you. Sam pulled in to the motel and helped Dean carry you into the room. The boys worked wordlessly and quickly to clean up the rest of your wounds, stich and bandage you up. They both let out a long breath. Sam looked up at Dean as he said, “I guess we just have to wait and see”. Dean nodded and rubbed his face. Sam watched his older brother sit down in the chair next to your bed. He watched as Dean gently grabbed your hand and began to rub circles with his thumb. 

Hours turned to days, and on day 2, Sam made Dean go shower and take a minute. Dean didn’t leave your side. Sam knew he felt responsible but Sam also knew nothing he would say to Dean would take away the guilt. On the morning of day 3, Dean felt your hand start to move. He quickly perked up and saw your eyelashes begin to twitch. He held on to your hand and you struggled to wake up. He held his breath, silently willing you to open your eyes. You slowly opened your eyes, taking in your surroundings; you looked over to the green eyed man and stared into his eyes. Dean started to tear up but never let a drop fall. He simply looked at you and smiled, “Welcome back, sweetheart. You had us worried” You tried to speak but you couldn’t seem to get your words to come out. He noticed you struggle so he quickly got you water and a straw. You greedily drank half the bottle before putting your head back down. Dean stroked your head as you began to wake up more and more. 

It was chaos in your head. You had so many questions so you attempted to speak again. Dean leaned in as you whispered, “who are you?” Dean quickly looked at you, and not so delicately said, “Who am I? Is this a joke? Please tell me you’re joking?” Sam woke up at Dean’s voice and said, “Dean, what the hell, man?” You saw Sam’s giant form get out and bed and you immediately tensed. Dean saw your nervousness and he knew you weren’t joking. He sat himself down again, and calmly said, “I’m Dean and this is my brother Sam. We’re here to help you”. You looked at Dean, there was something safe and familiar about the boys but your head was pounding and your thoughts were in complete disarray. You closed your eyes and clung to the sheets as you tried to get your thoughts under control. Your thoughts were accelerating. You tried to slow them down but they wouldn’t. You wanted them to slow down so you can breathe. Your breathes started to come in gasps and you felt like you’re going to black out. Your heart was hammering and you started to feel sick. 

You hear the boys’ voices but you are too afraid to open your eyes. Everything hurt and you were terrified. Suddenly you felt at ease and a beautiful peaceful sensation moved through you. You relaxed as you let the warmth encircle you. As your breathing came under control you began to relax and open your eyes. Instead of the green eyes, you were met with blue eyes, his eyes reminded you of a perfect spring sky and you smiled at him. You scooted up so you were propped against the headboard. You felt great although you still couldn’t remember why you knew these men. You looked all around and finally looked at the blue-eyed man and said, “Thank you sir”. Dean was leaning against the doorframe, “You don’t remember Cas?” You glanced at him and shook your head no. You hated disappointing them but you couldn’t remember much. Dean pulled himself away from the door, “If she doesn’t remember an angel, she sure ain’t going to remember us?!” Frustrated he rubbed his face. Your eyes widen at his statement, and you looked at Cas, “Angel? Like he is the one who saved me?” Sam and Dean looked at you in confusion. Cas tilted his head and sadly sighed. He looked back at the boys but before he could speak, Sam said, “Yeah y/n, Cas here is the one who saved you.”

You gently grabbed Cas’s hand and said “thank you. If its ok, I’d like to wash up and if you wouldn’t mind filling me in on some things…mainly what the hell happened” Dean snickered at you, and helped you up even though you felt completely fine. You stopped to gather some clothes. You took a chance and looked up at him and admired his chiseled chin. You smiled as you thought, “I hope when I remember things, I’m dating him”. You laughed to your self as Dean looked down, “its nice to hear you laugh, princess” as he leaned down and kissed your forehead. You didn’t flinch, you just sighed…something about these guys especially the green-eyed one, made you feel at home. 

When you were in the bathroom, the boys talked freely. Sam started, “It doesn’t look like she remembers that she hunts, or even that there are things to hunt”. Cas agreed, “She is physically healed but the mind is a dangerous thing to mess with. Being around people she knows will help her retrieve her memories.” Dean finally looked up, “So, you think if she’s not around us, she won’t remember her hunting life?” Cas looked at Dean puzzled and Sam simply said, “No Dean”. 

Dean stood up, “Hear me out guys, hunting almost got her killed, hell, we almost got her killed. If she has a chance to forget about it, forget about us… shouldn’t we give it to her?” Cas and Sam glared at Dean. Sam stood and yelled, “Dean, don’t think we haven’t noticed how much this whole thing bothered you. You love her. Seeing her hurt scared the shit out of you so don’t you pretend that you’re thinking what’s best for her! You’re terrified so you’re thinking it’s easier to send her on her way. I say bullshit. I’m not sending her packing just because you’re scared of having a chick flick moment.” Sam sighed, sat back down, and calmly said, “Dean, she is scared and doesn’t remember anything, what kind of friends would we be to leave her alone?” Dean looked back at them, “the kind of friends that want her to live.” Sam exhaled and shook his head. 

Cas spoke up, “I know you have a desire to keep her alive but what makes you think she is safer without you?” Dean didn’t hear the door creak open when he yelled, “Because I got her killed. I got her hurt. Its my fault!” You stood there like a deer in headlights. Sam looked behind Dean, to see you standing there shocked. Dean quickly turned to face you but you slammed the door in their face. You leaned against the door and slowly slid down to sit. You heard Dean knock on the door, “y/n? Please open the door. Let me explain”. You listened to him plead; you knew you should open the door and listen to his explanation but you also knew that you needed quiet. You sighed and saw your escape. There was a small window by the shower, you turned on the sink and shimmied your way through the window. It was a slight drop to the ground but you landed safely.


	3. The Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader makes a dumb panic ridden decision and runs. She attempts to gather her thoughts when some douchebags interrupt. Will the boys find her in time?

After a couple minutes of silence, Dean got up and put his ear to the door, Sam watched him curiously and stood when Dean began to knock again. Sam sighed, “Dean, she said she needed a minute” Dean stopped banging and without warning broke down the door. Sam and Cas both jumped at his sudden aggression. Dean looked in the bathroom, turned off the water and simply said, “Fuck”. Sam and Cas came into the bathroom and saw the bathroom window open. Dean turned and sternly said, “Find her Cas and find her now”. 

You walked down the main street. You had no money, left the only people that seem to know who you were and it was late at night. You kept walking though. You liked the silence the night provided. You walked a couple blocks until your silence was broken. Frowning at the noise, you turned your head to look at the source. It was a group of 3 clearly drunk men and they were just stumbling around having a grand ol’ time. You kept on walking, hoping the noise would stop soon but you hoped wrong. As soon as you passed them, you caught their unwanted attention. You rolled your eyes at their hollering and harassment and kept on walking. They didn’t get the hint and at a crosswalk they surrounded you. 

You were more annoyed than scared which was curious to you. They surrounded you but didn’t say a word. So, you stepped forward to cross the street when one gripped your shoulder. Without thinking, you grabbed his hand, twisted it back and snapped it, causing him to scream in pain. He fell backwards and yelled, “You bitch, you’ll pay for that”. You turned and faced the other two, “well dumb and dumber, you want some of this?” You motioned for them to step forward. Your head started to pound but you could see they were drunk and unsteady on their feet that should add to your advantage. The one on your left was extremely drunk so you did a low sidekick and he was down fairly quick. “The big oaf”, you thought and turned quickly to see one more standing. He wasn’t as drunk as the other two but you liked your odds against one verses three. He smirked at you and said, “I like it when they fight back”. Repulsion was written all over your face. He continued to talk, “They all have that same look of disgust on their face but trust me, after, they are completely satisfied.” You were completely shocked at his revelation, you thought they were some dumb drunks, not alleged rapists… you rolled your eyes, “Listen, I’ve had a couple shitty days. Less talk and more action.” 

You got into a fighting stance and readied yourself for a fight but you weren’t expecting him to just flat out tackle you. He slammed you to the ground, your head hit the ground and you almost threw up from the pain. You couldn’t even see straight let alone fight back. He managed to tear open your shirt, only to be greeted by a tank top…thank goodness for layers. You were fumbling around, trying your hardest to fight back but your head was playing tricks on you. You kept seeing flashes of different creatures, creatures that were in horror movies, you were flaying about keeping the man on top of you occupied with trying to grab your hands. All of the sudden the weight was lifted off of you and you squinted to see Cas and Sam dragging the man off into an alley. 

Dean slowly approached you; he gently put his arm under your neck and pulled you toward him. He hugged you tenderly and you looked up at him. You looked in to his green eyes. They seemed the picture of perfection, slicing right into your soul. There was a momentary flash in them a sparkle, reminding you of home. Unfamiliar warmth rushed through your body. A perfectly round tear raced down his face. His muted green eyes glistened with sorrow. Your body reacted before your brain protested and you put a hand up to his cheek to wipe his tears. “I was petrified to find you gone and then to see that man on top of you”… He struggled to find his words, he closed his eyes and said, “I’m sorry y/n I am so sorry”. Your head was pounding; you kept seeing flashes of what seemed like movie scenes. You closed your eyes and winced at the pain. You saw Dean, Sam and sometimes Cas fighting different creatures, you saw them reading in a library, laughing and joking around, you saw Dean drinking a beer and talking to you. Suddenly you opened your eyes to see Dean looking at you intently, you looked directly at him and smiled, “I remember” before you passed out from the pain. 

You woke up back in the motel room with a warm body wrapped around you. You smiled as you recognized the smell of whiskey, oil and leather. You glanced over to see Sam passed out. Cas came out of nowhere and squatted down to face you. You smiled at him, he looked at you and smiled, “we missed you y/n,” he whispered. You leaned forward, careful not to disturb the brothers, “Cas, seriously, I owe you my life, thank you”. He tilted his head in the way that reminded you of a confused puppy, he leaned forward to whisper in your ear, “he wouldn’t allow me to leave until you woke up. He demanded that I stay to keep watch.” You smiled at his words and he kissed your forehead and left. You decided to milk the injury a little longer and snuggle closer to Dean. He didn’t seem to mind because he held you tighter. 

You thought back to all the times you had with the boys especially Dean. You loved those boys; they were your family although you distinctly remember having certain dreams about Dean. You sighed at the thought, it certainly didn’t help that all things Dean currently surrounded you. You tried to think of other things when all of the sudden you felt his hand move. His arm was across your side and his hand was gently rubbing circles on your bare skin. “Focus y/n, focus…this is your best friend. He is probably just dreaming” you thought trying to calm yourself down. He started to move again, this time slowly dragging his hand across your side causing you to shiver at his touch. He seemed to still at that and you took the opportunity to get out of bed. 

When you sat up, he stirred and opened his eyes. “Morning Princess, how do you feel?” he sleepily said. You smiled and turned to look at him which was a terrible idea considering where your thoughts were just at but seeing Dean waking up was absolutely fucking adorable and you knew you were blushing. He knowingly smirked, as you stuttered something about feeling good just tired and that Cas left. You abruptly stood up and walked towards the bathroom. “Don’t you try and escape again, Princess. You might get punished if you disobey me” You turned to face him and he winked at you. Shocked, you looked at him and he had a smug look on his face, knowing that you picked up on his innuendo. “Cold shower, it is” you thought as you closed the bathroom door.


	4. Benched

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally find the demon responsible but Dean starts thinking out of his butt and the reader reacts accordingly

After your cold shower, you got dressed and went out to face the boys. You felt refreshed, awake and hungry. You smiled, as you looked at the boys relaxing in their beds. Dean turned to you, “See something you like, princess?” You rolled your eyes; Dean was just messing with you so you figured two can play at that game. 

You crawled on to the bed, Dean’s eyes following your every move, you moved slowly up to him and last minute decided to straddle him. His hands quickly went to your hips. Your hair was cascading to the sides of your face and slowly leaned down. His breath hitched for a moment but never broke eye contact. You whispered in his ear, “get up Winchester, I’m hungry”. You sat up and smiled before you could revel in your victory, he quickly flipped you over. You both just looked at each other, each one taking a moment to glance at each other’s lips. 

He leaned down causing you to feel every solid muscle in his chest. As he dipped down, you felt him brush against you, you visibly gulped as you felt his hard on, he smugly smirked, “Now Princess, I know you feel what you did to me?” Your faces were inches apart when you heard Sam began to stir. “Dean” you managed to breath out as his lips brushed against yours. Sam groaned and you turned your head causing Dean to never fully capture your lips. He groaned and you smiled. Putting your hands on his chest, you pushed up, “Now Winchester, you caused me to take a cold shower, I guess it’s your turn.” As soon as the words left your mouth, you knew it was a mistake. He immediately sat up, grinding against you, “I made you take a cold shower?”. You let a moan escape, quickly looking over to Sam. Dean snickered, climbed off, proudly showing his erection. You propped yourself on your elbows and looked at Dean, not even trying to hide the fact that you were checking him out. Dean smiled, “to be continued, Princess” as he leaned down to kiss your forehead and got into the shower. 

You fell back on to the bed, your mind going to what Dean was doing in the shower when your thoughts were interrupted by Sam laughing, “So, you and Dean?” You abruptly sat up and looked at Sam. He shook his head, “Every one except you two knew that this would eventually happen so it’s not like it’s a shocker”. You looked at Sam confused, “There’s no Dean and I, we’re just messing with each other.” Sam smirked, “Sure, sure…keep telling your self that, ‘princess’”. You smiled at Sam usage of Dean’s pet name. You shook your head, “Get dressed Sam, I’m hungry!”

 

After every one was ready, the three of you made it to the closest diner. Sam sat on one side while you and Dean slid in to the other side. You guys chatted when you began to feel Dean’s hand on your thigh, slowly stroking it like it while talking with Sam like nothing was happening. You tensed at first but eventually got control of your breathing and continued the conversation. The jovial chat and comforting strokes were rudely interrupted by Dean’s cell. He went to answer it, while keeping his hand on your thigh. You watched as his face went from relaxed to tensed, you felt his hand grip your thigh and then loosen when you winced. He nervously glanced at you, pulling his hand from your thigh and ending the phone call. 

You and Sam furrowed your eyebrows when Sam spoke up, “Um Dean, care to share with the rest of us?” Dean looked at you, “We found him.” You eyes went wide. Sam leaned forward, “You mean the demon that shot y/n?” You leaned back against the seat in the diner. Dean nervously glancing at you while continuing, “That was Crowley, he found the demon and the new meat suit. He gave me a location”. You began to move, “Well, let’s go and find the son of a bitch”. Dean didn’t budge and Sam looked at you knowing full well what Dean was going to say next. “You’re not going y/n”. You looked at Dean and then at Sam who stayed very quiet as he shook his head. 

You leaned forward, “And what in the hell, do you mean by that Dean? Of course, I’m going!” Dean turned and looked at you and simply said, “No”. You vibrated with anger, he has no right to tell you no. That demon basically killed you. You had every right to go. You started to move against Dean asking his to let you out. He took a deep breath and got up. The three of you went to pay the bill. You each moved silently to the Impala when you stopped abruptly. “So, you are going to leave me somewhere, go kill this demon and then come back and get me? Is that your genius plan, Dean Winchester?” He looked at you and then Sam. Sam mumbled, “Leave me out of it, this is all on you” and he sat down in the impala. 

You stood there not moving- glaring at Dean. He sighed and stepped forward, as you stepped backwards. “Y/n that demon killed you, I don’t want you anywhere near him”. You stood there staring at Dean, not only does he not want you on the hunt, he’s afraid that you’ll get hurt. “Dean, I know that you’re afraid but what’s going to happen on the next hunt, and the hunt after that? You can’t just bench me because you’re afraid I’ll get hurt. You’re being unreasonable”. Dean looked down, “I don’t want you to get hurt and if that means benching you, then I’m benching you” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You leaned down and reached in the back seat. Dean thought you were getting in the car but then you stood up again. He looked at you confused, as you grabbed your bag. Sam decided to intervene, “Ok guys, lets cool down for a moment. You two are not thinking straight. Y/n please get in the car and we can talk about this” Sam looked at you with his puppy dog eyes and you flinched for a second causing you to think it through. You were at a diner with nowhere to go so reluctantly you got in the car. You sat back as Sam silently communicated with Dean to fix this. 

You drove to the location Crowley provided and piled out of the impala. Dean tugged on your arm to look at him while Sam went to check you in. “Y/n, please understand where I’m coming from. I saw you die. I don’t want to ever go through that pain again.” You sighed and stepped towards him, “Dean, I get it. You got scared. Hell, I was scared but in our line of work we get hurt. I’m going to get hurt again just like you and Sam will too. It’s inevitable. You bench me and one of you gets hurt because I wasn’t there to back you up? How do you think that is going to affect me? What we do…sometimes it just plain ol’ sucks but you can’t put me in a bubble. No matter how scary you think it’ll be. I chose this way of life way before I met you. I will continue to choose this way of life with or without your help.” He flinched at your words but nodded. Sam came out with the keys and Dean’s hand went to the small of your back ushering you into the room.

You and Sam researched the demon’s location, no more surprises this time. You two studied the ins and outs of the building as well as any other weird things happening. Crowley insisted that the demon only had 4 other demons with him. While you and Sam discussed strategy, Dean went to get food. By the time he got back, you guys had a decent plan and figured you’d call on Cas just for some extra back up. Sam explained the plan to Dean as all three of you ate. He nodded away while occasionally glancing at you. Suddenly you figured out why Dean was acting so weird. You quickly jumped up, jamming your finger down your throat trying to get yourself to throw up but it was too late, the drugs kicked in and you slowly began to lose consciousness. Sam was shouting at Dean but he leaped to your side, catching you before you could fall. The last words you heard were, “It’s for your own good”.


	5. Motherfucking Dean Winchester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader reacts to Dean's dumbass decision. Dean suffers the consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know...Dean drugging the Reader was a real dick move. Hopefully he will redeem himself and by him, I mean me haha

“That motherfucking Dean Winchester, I’m going to kill him! I can’t believe he fucking drugged me. That fucking douche bag is going to get it” you were talking to yourself because the fucking Winchesters, fucking left you. You never said ‘fuck’ so many times in your fucking life but fucking Dean Winchester did just fucking drug you. There is absolutely no fucking way you could trust him after this. Hell, there’s no fucking way you could stand to be in the same room after this. It doesn’t matter because you’re were hell bent in breaking every bone in his body then making him watch you demolish his precious baby…fucking Dean Winchester

 

You heard someone clear his throat. You didn’t need to turn to know that Cas was in the room. “Um y/n I do believe I never heard you use the term fuck so much.” You turned to face Cas, “Look, I know you’re on ‘Team Dean’ but I would strongly suggest against saying anything in regards to fucking Dean Winchester!” You finished packing your bag as you heard Cas say quietly, “Dean loves you and would do anything to protect you including making you hate him”. His words stopped you and you stood straight. You slowly turned to face him, “Well Cas, Dean definitely succeeded in that regards. Now are you coming with me or do I have to find them on my own.” Cas smirked, “Dean said you’d say that”. You practically growled at the angel, which quickly stopped him from saying anything more. 

You opened the motel door to look around for a car when Cas stood next to you. “I don’t know why you are looking for a car, take my hand and I’ll take us there”. You glared at Cas, but before you gave him your hand, you made him promise to take you away from Dean after the fight. He hesitantly agreed and you took his hand. You and Cas landed outside a warehouse in the middle of nowhere. You saw the impala parked a little bit a ways confirming that the dumbass Winchesters were in there. Cas stopped you and handed you an angel blade. “Dean went in with out a blade?” Cas nodded and for some reason that made you even madder. “So not only did that dumbass drug me, he went into a fight with multiple demons without his angel blade?” Cas looked at you and shrugged, “Now that you say it, it does sound rather like a dumbass”. You turned and looked at Cas, “Ok, give me the rundown. What are we walking in to?” 

Mean while Dean and Sam just got to the warehouse. They were delayed by Sam trying to convince Dean to go back but no matter what Dean refused. Finally Dean broke down telling Sam every thing Crowley said to him on the phone. Sam shook his head, “Dean you should have just told her. I don’t think you’ll be able to recover from this. I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive you”. Dean gripped the steering wheel tighter, “I know but if hating me will save her…then so be it”. Sam sighed at his brothers’ stupid stubbornness. As they were gearing up, Sam asked where the angel blade was. Dean sighed, “I left it with Cas”. Sam looked at his brother confused, “ok? Where is Cas?” Dean took a deep breath, “Cas is with y/n”. Sam stood staring at his brother, “So, we don’t have an angel blade or an angel? And to top it off, we are walking into a trap” Dean shut the trunk and simply said, “Yep”. Sam stopped, “Well Dean, don’t you think we should get one or preferably both?” Dean began walking towards the warehouse, “Sammy, you know as soon as y/n wakes up, she is coming straight here to kick my ass. I want her well protected”. Sam continued to stare at his brother as he walked towards the warehouse. Sam shook his head at the nonsense he was hearing and jogged toward his brother. 

Cas and you were eying up the warehouse when you heard the shots fired. You nodded at Cas and you both went in different directions. While in the warehouse you were able to hear the conversation. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t my two favorite hunters? I see your missing your pet. It’s a shame you two won’t get to see the main event.” Dean visibly shook with anger, “You won’t go near her”. If you weren’t so pissed at him, you’d think his protectiveness was cute but that definitely wasn’t the case. The demon laughed, “Oh Dean, you don’t get a say in what I do to her. She will be used as the vessel and she will defeat Crowley.” You stopped in your tracks as you thought, “that’s what Dean has his panties all up in a twist”. You rolled your eyes at his ridiculousness. You continued your mission and set up. 

Cas stepped forward and quickly Dean looked around but couldn’t find you. The demon smiled as more demons came out of the wood works. Cas could easily take them out but he was under instructions to get more information about this vessel. Sam, Dean and Cas stood side by side as Cas told the demon to explain. The overconfident demon began to tell his plan. “You see your beloved pet has the ability to hold an extremely old and powerful demon- one that could defeat Crowley and take over hell. Some believe that Crowley has grown a weak spot for certain humans, such as yourselves and needs to be shall we say ‘de-throned’. The demon circled them and about 20 demons stepped forward. He motioned in the air and red lights appeared on the Winchesters. He smiled, “You see Winchesters, you will not make it out of here alive and I will find your pet”. He turned to leave when he saw the red lights move to the two demons directly in front of him. “What the hell?” and that is when all chaos broke lose. You fired the sniper rifle at the two demons, and then continued to kill as many as the rifle would allow. Dean grabbed the head demon before he could flee and saw the red light on the demon’s head. He looked up at the rafters and saw your form. He stepped out of the way and you shot the demon in the head. Sam and Cas took care of the remaining demons as Dean noticed the red light go to his chest. He knew you were pissed beyond belief but he knew you wouldn’t kill him…at least not like this. 

You got the angel blade that was lodged in the demon's meat suit, threw the rifle over your back and started your decent down. By the time you reached the warehouse, every single demon was dead. You slowly approached the Winchesters and Cas. You faced the boys glaring at Dean. “Dean Winchester, you are a motherfucking idiot. Drugging me because you were afraid that I’d give in and become a vessel to some big bad? Do you really think that low of me?” Dean sighed, “I knew you wouldn’t give in, I knew you’d kill yourself before becoming a vessel and I couldn’t just stand by and do nothing!” You continued to glare at Dean, “So, let me get this straight? Your genius idea was to drug me? Not maybe… I don’t know- talk to me about? Explain the situation?” Dean stepped forward, “Would you have stayed behind? Would you have listened?” You stepped forward, “Of course I wouldn’t have stayed behind and as you can tell drugging me didn’t stop me either?!” Without thinking, you punched him right in the face causing him to fall back as you shouted; “There is no reason on earth to justify drugging me!” Dean slowly got up and whispered, “You’re right. I panicked. There’s no excuse”. You flinched at Dean’s admission. You rubbed your hand because Dean’s hard head hurt more than you thought. You turned and walked outside. The boys silently followed suit and you all stood awkwardly at the impala. You didn’t know what to say so you simply went over to Sam and hugged him. Sam whispered, “Please come back to us”. You smiled as you kissed his cheek. You grabbed Cas’ hand and looked at Dean as Cas took you away.


	6. The baby in the middle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam tries to intervene but in the end its the baby that saves Dean Winchester's ass

It’s been 6 days since you saw the Winchesters. Dean has called every day with numerous text messages but you actually spoke to Sam. Poor Sam tried his hardest to convince you to come back to the bunker. He didn’t deny that what Dean did was a dick move but he reminded you of what Dean did to protect him. “Dean, just reacts and sometimes its not in the most sensible way. He did it out of love, grant it, it was a fucking stupid way to show his love but Dean is Dean.” You sighed, “Sam, hunting is all about trust. Hell, friendship is all about trust… How can I be around someone that I don’t trust?” Sam exhaled; he made you promise not to go hunting alone and to keep in touch. As you hung up, you cried, cried like you haven’t cried in forever… you felt like a part of you just died. Deep in your brain you knew Dean meant well but until you were ready, you just couldn’t talk to him.

Surprisingly on day 7 you didn’t hear a word from the Winchesters. You moped around your motel room, resting and trying to relax. The next day you woke up to a chirp, you saw Dean’s name on your screen, you stared at your screen and decided to open the message. It simply said, “I’m sorry and I miss you”. You sighed and closed your phone. You left the motel and went into a local bar. It was early lunch and the manager was handling the bar when slowly the lunch crowd began to pour in. You watched as he did multiple jobs including tend bar. He finally made his way to you and refilled your beer. “Busy day?” you asked. He stopped and looked at you as he said, “My bartender quit so it’s me and the chef”. You continued to sip your beer when you got an idea. You stood up and went behind the bar, immediately fixing drinks. The manager came over to you, “What the hell are you doing?” You turned as you mixed a drink, “You need help and I need a temp job, deal?” He gazed at you, “Fine, we can talk after the lunch rush”. And that was that, you started a temp job, while you figured out what the hell you were going to do. 

Day 9 you woke up to another chirp from Dean, he message said, “I can’t undo it, but can I try to make it right?” and then your phone chirped again, “All I can do is try”. You got dressed and got ready for work. After lunch you saw you had a message from Dean, “I miss your laugh”. You sighed and went back to work, all shift you kept thinking of stupid Dean Winchester. At one point you thought you saw him but you knew your mind was playing tricks on you. Walking back to your room, you got a message from Dean, “I miss your smile”. Day 10 you woke up before the chirp and you found yourself waiting for your phone to go off. On cue, your phone chirped, “I miss you hogging the shower and afterwards the bathroom smelling like flowers”. 

You smirked at that but went through your routine and got ready for work. It was busy at work so you didn’t check your phone but as soon as your shift was over you found yourself looking for your phone hoping for a message. You smiled when you saw 4 messages from Dean. “You remember that morning in the motel room?” You continued to scroll down, “The day after you remembered me” “I was awake when I was touching your hip. I felt alive touching you. When you got shot, it was like blinders were removed and I realized then what an idiot I was”. You stopped to take some deep breaths, but read his last message “I have no right to your heart but I love you with my own”. You sat down on the workbench and before you knew it, you were responding, “I don’t know what to do but I do know I miss us”. You turned off your phone and went home for the night. 

Day 11 you woke up and decided to turn your phone on. Much to your dismay, you didn’t have any messages from Dean. You felt disappointed and confused but you had to suck it up and get ready. You showered, got ready and were getting your stuff when someone knocked on the door. You froze, as if your body knew who was behind that door. You saw the impala outside and you took deep breaths and opened the door. 

Dean and you stared at each other for what seemed like hours. Finally he cleared his throat, you motioned him to come in but he stayed outside. You noticed a bat in his hand and finally managed to find your words. “Umm Dean, what’s with the bat?” He fidgeted nervously as he held it up. His deep voice broke your stare, “You see the way I figure, I was a real dick, and I deserve all this anger but the thing is I can’t stand to be apart from you so like I said I was going to try.” You looked at him questioning but he continued still holding the bat. “I love my brother and I love you and I’ve done some pretty fucked up things to both of you. I was trying to find the words to say to get you to forgive me but you know me and words don’t exactly go together so this is me trying”. He gave you the bat. Dean noticed your confused expression and smirked, “I gave you the bat to show you how important you are to me…” Stuttering Dean said, “I want you to hit baby”. You audibly gasped at Dean, “What?” Dean stood beside his precious car and said, “You mean more to me than any girl in my life including baby”. Your mouth dropped open as your brain processed Dean’s words. He wanted you to hit baby?! Without processing any further, you dropped the bat and ran into his arms. 

“You see, that is just like you Dean. You say things like that and you make it impossible for me to hate you. And I hate you Dean... I really hate you.” Dean grinned at you and through your tears, you smiled back. With his eyes locked on you, he took a step closer. You weren’t sure your heart had ever pounded so fast in your life. Just as the longing became unbearable, Dean’s lips met yours. The warmth of his mouth sent a current running through your body. You lost yourself in his soft lips. You both reluctantly broke apart, foreheads touching, breathing in each other… You whispered, “Dean this.. I still have to…” He interrupted you, “No rush princess. I’m just happy we’re at this point. Like I said, I have no right to your heart but I love you with my own”. You sighed, “Lets go home Dean”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost to the last chapter. Hope Dean (I) redeemed myself. Enjoy:)
> 
> I threw in one of my favorite movie quotes too


	7. Affection, Attention and Appreciation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets a little help from Sam and Google to win over the reader

Sam was waiting outside when you two pulled up to the bunker. Before Dean had the car in park, Sam was opening your door and yanking you into a hug. The gentle giant squeezed you so tight that you actually had to tap his shoulder. Laughing he put you down and walked you inside. You chatted with Sam telling him about your stint as a bartender when you remembered your bag in the car. You turned to go back outside when you saw Dean carrying it in. You looked at him and he smiled, “Go talk to Sam, I’ll put it in your room”. You thanked Dean and went back to Sam. 

Sam leaned in, “So, how’s it going with you two?” You sighed, “Well, we kissed but it was more of an emotional reunion type of kiss. I need time. I’m not going to get over it anytime soon”. Sam listened while watching his brother make dinner. He smirked, “It looks like Dean is trying to make it up to you”. You turned to see Dean humming a song while cooking dinner. You chuckled, “Well, he is off to a good start”. 

A couple days passed in the bunker with Dean being very attentive. He would ask you to help with research, encouraged you while training and a lot of little things like opening the door for you. You knew he was trying and that definitely warmed your heart a little. Sam would check in on you and basically get a ‘progress report’ as you called it. Eventually you pulled Dean to the side, “Listen Dean, I appreciate what you’re doing and I want you to know that I forgive you.” Dean nodded, “But do you trust me?” You hesitated and with that Dean’s eyes dropped, “Your hesitation was your answer but mark my words, I’m going to earn that trust back”. He turned and left leaving you speechless in the corner. 

It’s been a month back and you were researching a new hunt. Sam and Dean were at the table discussing a plan of attack when Dean shouted your name. You went to the table and Dean looked up at you, “Y/n what do you think?” Taken back by Dean’s question, you sat down as the three of you discussed a plan of attack. After an hour, you got an idea; you reached for Dean’s laptop and opened it. You smirked at what you found, the screen lit up to a Google page on ‘how to win a loved one trust back’. You opened a new window and began to research occasionally looking at Dean. The big oaf was certainty trying. 

After a few minor setbacks with the hunt, you came up with a plan but you knew Dean was going to hate it. You sat a bar with Dean and Sam contemplating how you were going to approach it. You went with bluntness. “Guys, I have an idea to draw the vamps out”. Both boys glanced up at you while drinking their beers. You took that as your cue to continue, “Well, the vamp seems to like y/h/c hair girls so I think you should use me as bait”. You cringed and waited for Dean’s reaction. You looked at Dean who was clenching his beer but surprisingly did not say anything. Sam looked back and forth between you and Dean finally said, “That might not be a bad idea”. Dean put his beer down and took a deep breath, “Well, I don’t like the idea of putting you purposively in harms way but we’ll have your back the whole time.” Both you and Sam stared at Dean wide-eyed. You smiled and without thinking you said, “I know Dean, I trust you guys”. 

You got up to get another round but before you reached the bar, Dean grabbed your arm, “Do you mean that Princess?” You looked into his green eyes, “I do Winchester, but you better always be honest with me and never ever make a decision for me without talking to me about it- you do that again and I’m gone”. Dean pulled you into a hug and whispered into your ear, “Now I just have one more thing to convince you of”. You pulled back confused. “I love you y/n” that hasn’t changed and will never change”. You shook your head at Dean, “Listen I’m giving you an out, we have adrenaline fueled jobs and a lot of times affection is often exaggerated into being called love. It’s ok Dean”. You patted his chest and made your way to the bar. Dean sat back down and muttered “Stubborn ass” Sam laughed at his brother, “She still doesn’t believe you?” Dean shook his head, “No man, but according to Google patience is a virtue”. Sam spilled some of his beer laughing at his brother, “I don’t know who you are but good luck with all of that”. Dean laughed at his brother, “After all Sammy, our last name isn’t the Losechesters, it’s the Winchesters” with that comment Sam burst out laughing. The rest of night was filled with laughs and relaxation. 

However the next morning brought the added anxiety of the hunt. You dressed the part of helpless victim and even decided you would ‘stumble and fall’ to cut yourself to hopefully attract the vamps. Your plan worked almost a little too well, you guys were expecting two vamps not four but in the end everything went well. You were cut up but nothing life threatening. Dean saw your bruises and your cut up knee but said nothing. You guys got back to the motel room and Dean made Sam go wash up first. You were confused considering you were the one with the most blood on but Dean just ushered you to the table and sat you on the tabletop. He was working silently, cleaning your cuts and giving you ice for your bruises. He finally spoke up breaking the comfortable silence. “I was nervous tonight but you did good. The plan was solid and we got the vamps.” You watched as his green eyes looked down at you, “I get scared you’re going to get hurt and not just by some monster but by me”. You looked at Dean and you saw his vulnerability shining through. “Dean” you sighed, putting your hands on his cheeks and forcing him to look at you, “Dean, you think you’re this dark and twisted man but I don’t see it as a fault, I see it as a strength. It makes you who you are and I am proud of who you are”. You smiled and Dean leaned in when Sam opened the bathroom door breaking your trance. You kissed Dean’s cheek and jump off the tabletop, “Me next”. 

Back at the bunker, Dean would make an effort to hang out with you more. Between watching your favorite TV show to cooking together. You guys fell into a pattern, a groove and more than once you fell asleep on the couch together. You started to notice the subtle change in your relationship, Sam noticed too but never commented on it. You wanted to talk to Dean about it but you weren’t exactly sure how to go about it. Dean Winchester isn’t exactly a relationship type of guy, hell you weren’t a relationship type of gal. It’s a scary thought but you like to be upfront with people especially people close to you. So, you walked up to Dean and stood right in front of him. He smirked at you, “Yes, Princess?” You furrowed your eyebrows and started, “Dean, I don’t know what’s if anything is going on between us but I need to know what you’re thinking”. He shook his head, “I want to take you someplace”. You mouth fell opened and Dean laughed, “Come on, just trust me” and he grabbed your hand-shouting bye to Sammy. 

You both climbed into the impala and Dean pulled out. You started to say something when Dean put on music, “Not yet, Princess”. You looked over to Dean, he was peacefully singing along while he drove. So you decided not to get annoyed but to simply enjoy the ride on this beautiful night. He pulled up to a clearing; you saw a little creek flowing and this small brick bridge. It had little stairs going up to the top where you could sit over top the shallow crick. You both got out of the car and Dean grabbed your hand and led you to the bridge. The night sky was filled with bright twinkling stars and the sound of the creek filled your ears. 

Dean squeezed your hand and you looked at him. “I love you but not like I love Sammy or I love Baby but love like... I rather be here with you than anywhere else in the universe…that type of love”. You gasp at his confession your mind went into a tailspin…He has been your best friend for years. You considered him family. You couldn’t imagine life without him but if you go this route what happens if it doesn’t work out. Not only will you lose your best friend but also you lose your family. As if reading your mind, he grabbed your face and made you look at him, “Hey, hey stop overthinking this. No matter what happens we will always be there for each other. I just want to know if you’re in?” 

You long admired Dean’s good looks. His tanned skinned and golden green eyes, the sprinkling of freckles across his face and sandy blond hair were to die for. But being this close to him, you couldn’t help but notice for the first time just how muscular his shoulders were, and how lush his lips looked. You let your gaze slip lower, to the rest of his body you had seen a thousand times, but which seemed so utterly different tonight. When you looked into his eyes once again, his expression was intense almost threatening. For a moment, you thought maybe he was angry, but before you could ponder it further, he yanked you to him and covered your mouth with his in a hungry kiss. You responded immediately, surprising yourself. His mouth was so warm, the caress of his lips softer than you could have imagined. He tasted tentatively with his tongue and you opened your mouth with a low moan. 

You don't know what made it happen. You don't know what made the change. But looking up at his face...You felt yourself get wet. It came from inside and you could feel the muscles flowing, giving out that liquid...And Dean smiled down at you, so you guessed he could sense it too. “Kiss me, Dean”, you whisper. He slips his lips against yours once before opening your mouth with his tongue. You moan and pull his body tightly against you. He sucks on your lower lip and runs his fingers through your hair. Then suddenly his hand is on your breast, thumb on your nipple. You are dripping and you can feel Dean, hard against your stomach. He leans in and whispers, “I don’t want to rush this”. You answer by plastering your mouth on his and kissing him in a way you’d never thought possible, your hips moving against him, knowing there must be more. You cradled his waist with your thighs. You were too busy kissing and nibbling on Dean’s neck to realize he walked you two back to the impala. He gently put you on the hood of his precious car and stepped in between your legs. You mentally thank yourself for wearing a skirt while you undid his jeans. Gently he rubbed your thighs as he slid your skirt up. He looked at you asking permission and when you simply nodded; He pulled you to the edge of the car and thrust into you. You gasped and gripped the edge of his shirt as your body stretched to accommodate him. The feel of him was growing more familiar. He leaned over you, forcing you back almost to your elbows and thrust, sinking fully into you. His muscles rippled and tense as he found the perfect aim against your wet, throbbing pussy. He locked eyes with you as he pressed into you. Dean filled you with such force and speed. As his thrusts gained a steady tempo, you clamped your legs tighter around his waist, driving him further into you. You both came unhinged shouting each other names. You look at him and smile, “I’m in Winchester”. Dean laughs and holds you tight. “Let’s go home, I’m not done with you”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I borrowed a few lines from a tv show, a clip of Jared from Comic-Con, Rob Bell's Nooma Video called Flame (it's all about the different types of love, good 10 minute video) and from @MLKA727
> 
> Enjoy the read


End file.
